I think we're trapped
by Kiromenanz
Summary: When Hermione Granger and Severus Snape are both summoned to Dumbledore's office for whatever reason they find themselves trying out some sweets he has hidden in a closet. Bad idea? Yeah, kind of, because before they can say "Merlin's beard" they find themselves trapped on a lonely island in the middle of nowhere with no way back. (only dialogue)
1. Chapter 1

_A/N: Just a little something that came to my mind while watching „Hana Yori Dango" the movie. It's mostly nonsense, but I thought I'd give it a try..._

_Disclaimer: Basically, I own nothing. End. _

_** 0Oo.-**_

„Seems like we're stuck here."

„You don't say, Miss Granger."

„And you're sure we can't apperate?"

„Completely. It is impossible to apperate without a wand, as you very well know. Now if you would be so kind as to stop asking the same question every thirty seconds. It does get annoying, thank you."

„I told you it was a bad idea to try out those sweets he had in that closet. You never know what Dumbledore's things can do to you."

„If I remember correctly, it was you who came up with it, Miss Granger."

„But you ate them as well, Professor!"

„Because you came up with that stupid dare."

„I wouldn't have expected you to go along with it!"

„Stop screeching like a scared first grader."

„I can't help it! I'm panicking!"

„Can always trust you to state the obvious, can't we?"

„So, where are we?"

„Shouldn't you know? I believed you knew everything, Miss Granger."

„I _don't _know everything."

„Really? Could have fooled me."

„Are you making fun of me?"

Dry „I wouldn't even think about it."

„Wonderful. Care to answer my question, then?"

„Some sort of island, I believe."

„And you accuse _me _of stating the obvious?"

„If you can come up with the answer yourself, don't ask the question."

„I had hoped you could be a little more specific than that, _Sir_"

„And what makes you think I know any more about this than you do, Miss Granger? After all it was _you _who got us into this mess. One might think you would have learned to use your mind before you leap into something unknown."

„I couldn't have expected something like that!"

„You should always calculate the possible consequences of your actions. This is the least you should do if you want others to think you're even half as clever as you believe yourself to be. But it seems that your ... _family background _... makes to big of an obstacle for you to understand the most important aspects of leading a life with magic in it."

„... You're such a bastard."

„Language, Miss Granger! I am still your professor."

„So what? We're like... thousand miles from the school, at least, trapped on some weird, empty, tropical island in the middle of nowhere! And it's all your fault!"

„You have a knack for repetition, don't you?"

„Oh shut up you greasy slimy git, bastard, idiot, cruel, stupid, insolent, violent, unfair, ignorant... _bat_!"

„Are you quite finished?"

„No! I don't accept this! I should be with Ron and Harry right now, searching ways to kill Voldemort – oh _come on_ that's his name, get used to it!- and instead I am stuck here with the _least person I would ever want to be spending more time with than neccessary!_"

„It seems you have quite forgotten the existence of Draco Malfoy and his father. Or dear Bellatrix Lestrange. At least I will not try to crucio you until you can barely remember your name, then rip out your entrails from your body and feed them to the monkeys."

„There are monkeys here?"

„How would I know?"

„But you just said-"

„I just said anything to elaborate my point. Really, Miss Granger, where has that intelligence gone you claimed to have?"

„I never said I thought I was bright."

„You didn't have to. And I think I have to remind you yet again that, wherever we might be, however _panicked_ you might be, I am still and will always be your professor and you should treat me as such."

„I am sorry, Sir. I'm just really scared. It won't happen again, Sir."

„I hope not."

Deep breath „Now. Where do you suppose we find something to eat?"

** 0Oo.-**

_A/N: So, that's the first chapter. Hope you liked it :) The second one is already written, I think I'll post it tonight as well. _

_And... what did you think about it? It's actually the first time I tried this only-conversation-thing. Did I screw it up? Hope not :) _

_And oui, there will be some romance in there somewhere. If I manage to squeeze it in without violating the characters even more than I already did. It is so hard to keep Snape in character while writing something romance-y. _

_Whatever, enjoy your weekend, everybody ^^ (and if you're in a very good mood, leave a review? ~_^)_


	2. Chapter 2

_A/N: So, here's chapter two. Hope you enjoy :) _

_Disclaimer: You all know I don't own these guys, don't you? Still, just in case: I don't own anything you may recognize (but I do own that wonderful island. Just don't ask me where it is, I don't know, I just made it up. Maybe it's a wizarding island?) _

_** 0Oo.-**_

Deep breath „Now. Where do you suppose we find something to eat?"

„Excuse me?"

„I just figured if we can't escape this rotten place – which is obviously the case – we should try to make ourselves comfortable until we're found by someone. And the first step to that is food. I am starving."

„And why, pray tell, does your state of repletion have anything to do with me?"

„Well, first of all because we're in this together, _Sir_. And secondly because you're hungry as well."

„I do not think I am, Miss Granger, but thank you for your concern."

„I know you are."

„I am not. Now would you stop making assumptions?"

Growling

„See? I told you you were hungry."

„I hate to disappoint you, but that wasn't me."

„You can stop denying it now."

„I am in no way in denial. I am simply stating a fact. That wasn't me."

„Yeah right. It's not me, either. So where does it come from?"

„That I believe is the right question."

„No really. Stop denying it. It's fine if you're hungry."

„I am sure it is. However that noise you just heard was not produced by my stomach."

Ironic „So what else? A wild animal?"

„I'm afraid so, Miss Granger. If you would turn around, you could see it."

„Funny, Sir. I'm not falling for that."

„Do you know me to be in the habit of making jokes? Turn around. Slowly, I would recommend."

„Oh well, if you insist, but I – OH NO! WHAT IS THAT?"

„Calm down, or you'll-"

„DON'T EAT ME! DON'T EAT ME!"

„Miss Granger –"

„EAT HIM! NOT ME, I'M TOO YOUNG TO DIE!"

„I beg your pardon-"

„NO!"

„MISS GRANGER!"

„...what?"

„Calm. Down."

„I don't want to die."

„Neither do I, nor do I intend to."

„So what do you suggest we should do?"

„Considering the fact that you have already informed the... thing of our presence I'm afraid there is only one thing left to do."

„That would be?"

„Run for it."

**0Oo.-**

_A/N: Chapter two for you (am I not a wonderful poet? I know, I know, no applause, please ^^). I don't know what kind of beastie they encountered. Maybe some wizarding species. If you're really interested, I propose you ask Hagrid. Since it's growling and probably really dangerous I think he'd be thrilled to discuss it's cuteness with you ;)_

_I don't really know where I'm going with these two. But since it's just some nonsense I don't think I really need a plan... ^_^_

_If you want, leave a review *puts a whole lot of christmas cookies on the table* for you, help yourself. _

_Now I think I should continue (or actually start) to listen to people speaking spanish and hoping I understand anything (I'm having a test next week and this teacher seems to think we have learned spanish for like seven years instead of three... Oh praise our educational system. But who am I to complain?)_

_Sorry, I'm babbling. Bye bye and have fun with whatever you're doing ^^_


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